Merry Christmas to My Angel

Dear Zachary,

Merry Christmas big boy. We had a great Christmas morning. As always, you're on all of our hearts. I think of you all the time. This year has been a LONG year in so many ways. I am glad that you're watching over us; we certainly need it. 


It has been some time since I sat down to write you. I'm not sure why. There have been a number of times this year that I thought of you and I've had feelings of peace wash over me. I hate to think it, let alone type the words, but It's like I felt "okay." It's as if things have finally sunk in and it has become a fact in my heart that you were once physically mine for a short 14 months... and now you're not. Instead, you get to be a part of our family in different ways. You're woven into our family, you're in pictures in every room of our home and you're constantly in our thoughts. Most of the time I look at you and smile because I love you and I remember the time that I once held you. I still have some moments of feeling sad and angry, but it happens far less. 

This morning for Christmas I got a few special gifts. I love the ones that connect me to you. Your little brother made something special for me. It's an arrow that I can have in my home to remind me of Zachary's Way at Marley's Mission. It's precious. I can't wait to find the perfect spot for it. Liam told me that he loves you and misses you. He said he wishes that you were with us. 

Kenzy also made me something equally as wonderful, arrows to hang in our entry way. Arrows remind me of you because of your birthday, March Fourth. It's a become my motto, to march forth and keep moving, even when things get tough. 


I also got two beautiful pieces of jewelry that reminds me of you, the most perfect dark blue sapphire earrings and an arrow bracelet. Everywhere I look, you're there. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so thankful for you and all that you've given me. You're forever my baby boy and I am one lucky momma to be able to call you my son. 

I love you sweet boy. Thank you for all of the blessings and love. I hope you have the merriest Christmas in heaven. 







An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.