Happy birthday, my love.
I’ve wanted to write you so many times but I have been really struggling with my words. So many emotions and thoughts have been rattling around my brain, but I have had trouble ironing them out and laying them down to paper. I’m okay, and then I’m not. I think I’ve turned a corner and then grief throttles my heart. I’m beaming with pride and then I question if I’m allowed to be. I’m evolving along this 14 year journey without you physically with me, but it’s at the expense of your loss. When grief isn’t kicking my tush, the guilt takes over.
Read MoreAnother year separates us, my love. Obviously the worst part of grief is not having you here with us. Having accepted that because I had no choice, a close second is a fading memory. There are days that you're so far away that what I remember feels like I only remember because I've written it or already spoken it. There's nothing new anymore and there hasn't been for a long time. My recollection of you comes from photographs I have. I wish there was a way to have more. All I am left with to do is make sure to keep you an active part of my life, so you're always here with us.
Read MoreMeatball,
Another year has passed us by. I look at you and see a sweet little chubby boy and it's nearly impossible to picture you as a mini man.
Read MoreThis is a night I look forward to each year. We all gather together for a common cause, to support Marley's Mission and their desire to improve the lives of children by giving them hope to March Forth. The people in the Marley's community are second to none.
Read MoreDear Zachary,
Merry Christmas big boy. We had a great Christmas morning. As always, you're on all of our hearts. I think of you all the time. This year has been a LONG year in so many ways. I am glad that you're watching over us; we certainly need it.
Read More12 years... roughly 1/3 of my life, Zachary has been gone. We should be together. I should have three kiddos in my arms and I should be listening to him laughing with his siblings. It's wrong. It's not fair. It's tiring. However on the other hand I look at the gifts he's given me. The people I've met because of him, the kind acts that have been done in honor of him. I have always struggled with a divided heart. It's part of grief. I know it's normal, but I hate it.
Read MoreIn an attempt to smear the reputation of Gene Talerico, one of the most loyal, compassionate and dedicated men I know, Shane Scanlon sent out a political mailer that left people feeling disgust, shock, anger and hurt.
Read MoreHello my Angel,
I'm feeling guilty for not writing sooner, but I couldn't. I've struggled a little bit to get myself to sit down and write. If I'm being honest it's for selfish reasons. I don't want to cry. Ironically, as I type those four words, the tears start. I can only hold it for so long and sometimes when I keep the emotions built up, it's like a levee breaking. No matter how much time that has passed since 2005, it doesn't matter. The pain is still there.
Read MoreWhere do I even begin? I have so many emotions running through me. Picture perfection and joy. That's what this weekend was.
Many months ago I got a phone call from my great friend, Gene. He asked me if I would be the Honorary Chairperson for this year's Blue Ribbon Gala for Marley's Mission. After processing what he just asked me, without a doubt I said yes. I know it's redundant, but it was an absolute honor to be asked. I was about to follow in the footsteps of some pretty big shoes.
Read MoreSince Zachary was taken from me, I can't shake the reality that life is so fragile. I worry about everything... ev-ery-thing!
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