Hi Meatball!
You’d be 19 years old today. So many years ago we starting the tradition of releasing balloons on your birthday. I have not missed a single year. I don’t know how we got to be where we are today. 18 years without you.
The very first year you were gone, we celebrated in a very small way. Kenzy was just a little girl. It was just us, Grandbarb, Grandpa Joe and a friend of mine. They helped me through the day. Soon after our family grew. We started to celebrate with your little brother, Liam and your stepdad, Bill. They both wish that they got to meet you, but boy do they love you so much.
So much time has passed. Kenzy is about to be 21 and has moved out. Liam is starting to drive, got his first job and is halfway through high school. You’re so loved but forever missed. I dream about you and who you would be today.
I have been on such a journey since you were taken from me. Zach, I am so tired. I am emotionally drained. I can’t take much more. As we celebrate your birthday today, we are also waiting to hear the decision of the parole board. It is such an oppressive shadow that surrounds me. I just don’t have the words or the strength anymore. I wish things were so different and that you were here with me still. I have never wanted anything more. I need you to send me some love to help me through. I will forever be grateful for all that you have brought to my life.
I miss you every single second. I hope you are surrounded by love and you got your birthday balloons.
xoxo
Mommy <3
